Come Together: The Science ( And Art! ) Of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections
From the New York Times bestselling author of Come as You Are and co-author of Burnout comes an illuminating exploration of how to maintain a happy sex life in a long-term relationship.
āEmily Nagoski is a national treasureāhelping us all understand how to finally build true, joyful, confident sex lives.āāGlennon Doyle, author of Untamed
In Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski, PhD, revolutionized the way we think about womenās sexuality. Now, in Come Together, Nagoski takes on a fundamentally misunderstood subject: sex in long-term relationships.
Most of us struggle at some point to maintain a sexual connection with our partner/s or spouse. And many of us are given not-very-good advice on what to do about it. In this book, Nagoski dispels the myths weāve been taught about sexāfor instance, the belief that sexual satisfaction and desire are highest at the beginning of a relationship and that they inevitably decline the longer that relationship lasts. Nagoski assures us thatās not true.
So, what is true? Come Together isnāt about how much we want sex, or how often weāre having it; itās about whether we like the sex weāre having. Nagoski breaks down the obstacles that impede us from enjoying sexāfrom stress and body image to relationship difficulties and gendered beliefs about how sex āshouldā beāand presents the best ways to overcome them. Youāll learn:
ā¢ that āspontaneous desireā is not the kind of desire to strive for if you want to have great sex for decades
ā¢ vocabulary for talking with partners about ways to get in āthe moodā and how to not take it personally when āthe moodā is nowhere to be found
ā¢ how to understand your own and your partnerās āemotional floorplan,ā so that you have a blueprint for how to get to a sexy state of mind
Written with scientific rigor, humor, and compassion, Nagoski shows us what great sex can look like, how to create it in our own lives, and what to do when struggles arise.